Your sparkling eyes and blooming cheeks
Must wither like the blasted rose;
The coffin, earth, and winding sheet
Will soon your active limbs enclose.

This is the most unusual macabre website I think I’ve ever come across. So strange. So eclectic.

So gonna sign up.

This photo, snapped in Berkeley, is pretty much what life is telling me right now.

Only This Way

YOU HAVE NO CHOICE! YOU MUST GO THAT/THIS WAY!

The influx of spiders into my apartment has really got to stop.

This is what happens when I can’t sleep.

Yes, this is a vampire Mad Lib. Shut the hell up.

Wrath opened the door to the sound of alt indie folk grunge. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Bjork again. ‘What is this fuckbag?’ Wrath demanded.

‘Boss, my brother, it’s just Bjork’s new album, Moist Nerple.’

Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with pregnant Trojan microphones.

‘Douche waddler, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking phlegmatic!’

Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X raping a civilian vampire. With a goulash.’

‘Time will shit. Stinkingly.’ said Wrath.

‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to rectify some uncanny journalistic inquiries.’

I swear to shit, this has been the worst past 24 hours.

Last night…fuck…I don’t even want to talk about it, but it involved learning things about people I just didn’t want to.

Got up this morning, tried to dye my hair dark ash blonde. Succeeded in turning my hair green. I though it was the Fairfax water or something, but according to a hairdresser at the Store, I just bought the wrong kind of dye. So I have to wait a week and neutralize it. I get to be Swamp Thing for a week. Hu-ray.

I got a lot of shit from a coworker today, so much so that I had to go to a manager about it. He’s been a bur in my side for weeks. Now, this guys gives everyone at work a hard time, but his pissy attitude was just one more thing in a crappy day. For someone who has crashed with me and my roomies (in my room, no less) because of his shitty relationship issues, he sure does throw a load of hogwash my way. And I was sick of his shit and I kinda lost it.

On a related note, my unofficial nemesis at work is poised to transfer to Europe, something that should make me happy (for him and for the lack of him) but really just depresses me, as transferring to the UK was something that was completely shot down for me. I’m at the very least as good at my job as he is, if not better, and it pisses me off so hard I can’t think about it for too long with out literally growling in frustration.

Tonight, I came home and splurged on a steak. So while I was trying to put together my fucking IKEA drawers as quietly as I could because I could already hear my landlady snoring downstairs, I had the worst stomach ache ever. The episode of Angel I was watching had a really shitty ending, and when it was over and I tried to put the drawers in, I discovered I had put the drawer thingies in upside down and I would have to take it apart again. So now I have two HALSTADS or whatever in pieces all over my apartment.

On top of all that, my father called me to tell me he was proud of me and to not give up my writing. It made me want to cry so hard.

So maybe all of those things weren’t so bad, but hot shit on a biscuit it feels like I’ve taken a beating.

EDIT: Just when I think life is crap, Mika arrives. The clusterfuck of images in this video just blasts right through my thoughts and leave my mind numb. In a good way?

We’ll go our own ways…

One of my friends at the Store got fired today.

I’m not very happy about it.

There’s a lot of things in my life I’m not happy with right now. I’m starting to feel the pressure more at work, feeling the weight of being alone and panicking about Where My Future Is Going. I’m poor. I’m not sleeping again. I can’t stop watching old TV shows or reading novels and maybe think I’m a little addicted to unreality.

I’m getting wanderlust. I haven’t left California in a long time. I’m not used to being in one place for so long. Shit. When did I become a drifter?

My parents are coming into town and all I can think about is hoping my father’s not disappointed with my apartment, my work. My total lack of career.

And on top of all that, I’m getting fatter again. I’m not used to being a loser.

But otherwise, I’m pretty peachy.

Yeah, well, it’s not like I’ve been busy, just, you know…doing stuff.

I went camping. It was the biggest ball of awkward ever. I roasted corn. I started a fire with a Pop Tart box. I saw a guy washing plates in a shower. I did a fire dance with two complete strangers. (not actually as cool as it sounds) Oh, and someone got arrested, though that’s all the details I’ll go in for that. Not important who, just that it happened.

In other news, never ever knit a lace pattern while watching Angel. You will lose your place. You will mess up. You will swear loud enough to startle the deer outside.

Topic number three: If I don’t clean my room and wash my car, bad things are going to happen.

Also: I’m really sick of blackberries, but I just can’t stop picking them. My freezer is full of them. I can’t stop. I’m addicted to berry-picking.

Picture 2

This is what facebook thinks I’m in to.

…I’m writing this from my Mac laptop. In a library. Next to a stack of books. One of which just miiight be The Hobbit.

Shit.

Holy Jeebus, there is a deer outside running laps back and forth behind my apartment. I can hear it thumping around in the underbrush. At least I hope to God it’s a deer and not something else giant and creepy. It has to be a deer, cause it’s jumping a five foot fence every time it goes back and forth. So it’s either a psycho deer or a monster that’s particularly light of foot. Is it weird that the noise sounds almost joyous? A happy deer, in the dead of night, running for fun?

Oh shit. It stopped, and it stopped just below my window. Can’t see anything outside, even with the light off and the window open.

If I disappear, I was probably eaten by a deranged but happy deer.

Wait.

I hear the raccoon growling at it. Now it’s grunting. Ok, there goes the Big Thing, but the raccoon is still talking to something.

…now it’s quiet.

Holy crap, nature is freaky.

Went to the midnight show last night. Freaking loved it. Will go again.

In other related news, I came home at 3 AM last night. Not gonna lie, I was a little buzzed. S and I snuck in beverages of an adult nature. I regret nothing other than the fact that when the Inferi grabbed Harry’s hand, I yelled “SHIT!” incredibly loudly. I daresay I was not the only one.

Anyway, getting home at 3 AM. Like I said, I was a bit inebriated (and if anyone asks, I walked home from the Fairfax theater, kthanks) so when I got home, all I could think about was how hot it was and how sticky my pants felt after being in a hot theater for three wonderful hours. So, I stripped my pants off, changed into a tank top, and collapsed into bed.

I woke this morning to the sound of a chainsaw. As I type, there is an very attractive half-naked man on my roof, ridding my apartment of its overhanging branches and runaway blackberry bush. Would be awesome, if not for the fact that the whole side of the apartment wasn’t one giant window and I’ve been sprawled on my bed half-naked for the past however many hours he’s been here. And from the pile of branches outside, it’s been a while. And from the embarrassed grin I exchanged with the guy before bolting into my bathroom, I know he saw me.

This is why people should sleep in sexy underwear. I get it now.

So now I’m hiding, sitting on my toilet, (horray laptop) and trying to decided if I want to brave another brazen smile or just cut my losses and run. And by run, I mean stay in my bathroom until I absolutely have to go to work this afternoon.

Oh, fuck it. I’m hungry. And have a atrophied sense of shame. I’m sure I can reach a pair of pants without flashing my rump. I think I see a pair of jeans scrunched up under the corner of my bed…

…Success! Now for a sandwich.